Power Rankings Week Three

Many of you don't know this, but I have always enjoyed picking on my good friend Christian (Tasha Pleasant). Whether it's his affection for big girls, his narcolepsy, or the fact that he actually likes to wear the dresses in his relationships, there's always something to pick on. Someday he's going to show up at my house with a shotgun, but until then... I need to say that I think we've reached a new low. His 39 point week three performance has to be some sort of record. Not a single one of his players scored in double digits. Not only that, but one player, Ronnie Brown, had more points than his entire team. All I can say is, WOW. I feel badly for the big girls in downtown Springfield, VT. Someone is going to get a sore ass.

Anyways, I hope you guys also know that I'm ok poking fun at myself as well. Whether it seems it or not, I really take this power rankings thing seriously. I look at each of the rosters, look at all of the bench slots, look at the free agent wire pickups and make my picks based on which teams I really believe are the class of the VFFL. No matter how much time I vest into these rankings, the teams I expect to do well, usually tank. Jon has fallen victim to my early confidence and now sits as the only winless team. My apologies to Jon. Amanti on the other hand I had all but written off, only to have him come back with a nice week three performance. I don’t foresee CBS calling me anytime soon to be the new Jimmy the Greek.

The funniest thing about these rankings was my recent realization that I didn't even put Kyle's team on the ranking order in last week's blog. I can only assume he didn't read the blog or he didn't mention anything because not even being mentioned on the rankings must mean that his team was going to have a monster week. Well, he's on the rankings this week and he's pretty high up, so look for a stinky week coming for team Bush.

... it won't be long before teams are writing to me to ask that they don't get put on the rankings, or maybe if they are put on the rankings, they're placed on the bottom. Maybe I can even begin to use this as a bargaining chip when negotiating trades. Trade me Marion Jones for Fred Jackson or I'll put you as number one in the power rankings. Anyone ever see the movie, The Cooler? Yup, that’s me in real life!

With all of this said, here are the week three power rankings (my apologies to Nasty):

1) Nasty- I've said for the last three weeks that this starting nine is one of the best in the league. Now with Rudi Johnson looking like the go-to back in Detroit and the potential lingering issue to LT makes Sproles a nice bye week option. Now I will say that he has four people on a bye this week, so if he flops, it's not only because I put him at number one this week.

2) Coatu- No question in my mind that he has the most depth at quality RBs in the league. I bet he's wishing that this was a keeper league in which you could keep four or five guys. Unfortunately for him, they're all young (except Pittman and Westbrook) and figuring out which ones are going to have good weeks is going to prove challenging. Let's see how King does in this pretty unfamiliar place for him.

3) Bush- If LT stays healthy, this is a going to be a strong team throughout. Brees if finally looking like he's hitting his stride and even on an off week, Jacobs finds the endzone. Even more so than Nasty, the worry here is his bench. Not sure how he's going to do throughout the next few bye weeks.

4) Monroe- This team could very well struggle this week (Good news for G that I’m saying this). I fully expect Spunky to be victorious (not sure why, but I know Jon is going to be upset with this prediction). With Wayne and idiot boy, Burress, in this lineup, he’s a formidable squad. Without them, he’s susceptible to an 0-3 team beating him down.

5) Pump- No Manning. No Addai. No problem. Luckily for Mark, he’s playing me this week. Even without these guys, he’s a 22 point favorite. Yup, that’s how solid my team is. He should continue to build on his performance from last week and be 2-2 through his first four games. By the way, did anyone else notice that Mark had three Defenses on his team last week and picked the one that scored the fewest points. It’s bad enough carrying three Ds, but then to pick the worst one, that’s just a shot to the groin.

6) Spunky- As mentioned above, I firmly believe this team will overcome horrendous management to find a way to beat up on Little G. If at some point he gets a chance to check his team to see that he has Roy Williams on a bye, he may actually have a chance to post his first W. I’m going to keep the votes of confidence going with this team- He definitely gets into the playoffs this year!

7) Legged- Being listed as a 23 point underdog to Dan has to knock you down a few spots in the power rankings. He is going without Dominick Rhodes who is on a bye, so that’s probably why he’s such a big underdog. My bold prediction this week would have to be that Cousin’s kicker, Matt Prater, will have more points than Steven Jackson. If that’s the case, Cousin will drop in next week’s power rankings.

8) Quevin- This team has potential… just wondering if it has the right guy at the helm. Could we see our first firing of a fantasy manager ever? Kevin is as secure as Lane Kiffin right now. The ax could fall at any point. How do you let Ronnie Brown sit on your bench when you know he’s going to light up the listless Patriots D? C’mon, everyone knew he was going to score five times! A new captain may be needed for this sinking ship.

9) dc- This is a matchup (Cousin against Dan) to see who is better at drafting a fantasy team. Cousin takes credit for Dan’s success in baseball, while Dan contends it was his management throughout the year that got him to the mountaintop. I guess this week’s matchup will shed some light on the real truth.

10) Gamers- Johnson, Housh, and Roddy Roddy Piper showed signs of life last week. Even with these signs, he’s in a precarious situation at QB. Doesn’t look like Derek Anderson is going to be starting many more games and I really think the Giants team is going to be primarily a running team this year. We’ll have to wait and see.

11) Tasha- Ok, so it’s bad enough when you score 39 in a week, but then to have the CBS “Guru” say you’re only going to get 59 this week is even worse. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this number under 80. I thought for sure Craig had some players with byes in his starting lineup only to find out that he didn’t. This could be another very ugly week for Mr. Craig.

12) Burt- Do you know that I’ve been waking up in cold-sweats thinking of the Tom Brady injury. How could Tommy let me down? By the way, anyone else find it interesting that Tommy B is nowhere to be found on the Pat’s sideline? Much like the Pats, Tommy hasn’t even texted me to help in the development of JT O’Sullivan. My team blows!