Monday, September 21, 2009

After Week Two

After week two (Monday night hasn’t happened yet):

Just by score:

Bush- 220
Quevin- 218
Nasty- 188
King- 186
Crusaders- 178
Pat’s ZZZZs- 172
Gamers- 172
Pump- 171
Buzzsaw-163
Legged- 163
Chester- 149
dc- 106

Ok, so the other thing that I have learned (other than me having the worst luck) is that no matter what I say, the opposite is more likely to come true. Me picking Ryan to finish last was actually the dumbest thing I could have done. I should’ve penciled Chris Johnson in for 45 points right then and there. First I get Adrian Peterson scoring some ridiculous number and then I get Chris Johnson laying 45 on me. F my life. The only thing that I enjoyed about this is that this will be the first and last time a person scores as many points as a team. I’m serious. If Chris Johnson played Craigger’s entire team, they would’ve tied. That makes me laugh. 45 points, Craig? Really! doesn’t come close to what I’m thinking.

So, we tried to screw Kyle big time with loading his team up with kickers and defenses during the draft, but the bastard just doesn’t go away. He not only is winning, but arguably beating the best team out there right now. The kid just finds a way to win. It’s annoying. On the flip side, there’s my team who should be good, but finds it funny to fall on their face week after week just to make me look like a dumbass. Anyone want Tom Brady? What a bum! Using a little reverse psychology, I’m putting Bush as the one seed this week as this should definitely signal his demise. Not sure what else to do… any other ideas?

The only thing I got right from last week’s column, was that six teams were going to score 100 points or more this week. There has to be some sort of door prize for that. Here’s this week’s rankings?

1) Bush- Johnson and Johnson had good weeks, Brees was Brees, we’re in trouble
2) Quevin- Hasselback might be out, good news for us? Nope, he has Warner.
3) Kinger- Could Percy Harvin be for real? Let’s hope not.
4) Nasty- One good week, one bad… Sign of things to come?
5) Jon- Good morning Jon, nice of you to join us.
6) Crusaders- Big G in need of a Big WR
7) Pump- Down week for Pump would have me nervous if I were him.
8) Gamers- Making me eat my words. Schaub came back with a vengeance… too bad he was on Amanti’s bench.
9) Legged- Douche Bag= Chris Johnson
10) Buzzsaw- Fire sale!!! Who wants Brady???
11) dc- Anyone realize that Dan has 106 total points through two weeks? Anyone want to know how he’s not last? Well, that happens when someone only manages 45 points in one week. Ouch.
12) Chester- Pathetic.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Power Rankings- Week One

After week one:

Just by score:

Nasty- 128
Quevin- 116
Bush- 114
Chester- 104
Pump- 96
Buzzsaw- 91 (Highest number this week to lose)
Crusaders- 85
Gamers- 71
Pat’s ZZZs- 68
Kinger- 63 (Lowest number this week to win)
One Legged- 61
dc- 55

My thoughts, just from looking at the score: My immediate reaction is how quiet Kinger has been since ripping the league for not using Power Rankings. I guess he’s ok with scoring 63 points in a week and being tied for first (even with the win, he’d be tied for 7th in the Power Rankings). Anyways, I just chuckled to myself when I saw the irony.

Moving on, anyone watch SNL anymore? I’m thinking of Seth Myers and Amy Poehler doing Weekend Update where they constantly read ridiculous news stories and emphatically say, “Really!” This week’s “Really?” moment goes to none other than Dan. 55 Points? Really?!? Dude, were you thinking about the baseball championships or something? 55 Points? Really?!?

Four teams were able to score in the triple digits in week one; a sad, sad showing given the fact that there were very few injuries and no byes. I am going to say that six team will eclipse the 100 point plateau this week.

My last thought before getting into power rankings is that being in two fantasy leagues suck when you are known for having the worst luck. I routinely get kicked in the balls for no good reason during different points of my life and this past week was one. Not only did my baseball team decide not to show up last week (should’ve used the power rankings from the last four years to just crown me champion already), but, as my awful luck would have it, both of my football fantasy teams faced Adrian Peterson in week one (of course). I know he’s great and phenomenal and all things to all young boys, but isn’t 20 points enough. 37? Really? I mean, c’mon, he almost beat dc by himself.

Ok, one more thought as I just looked at my preseason rankings. I thought these would be the top four teams this year in those rankings: Me, Kevin, Jon, and Dan. Here’s how we did: Kevin- great (116 points), Me- ok, but lost (91 points), Jon- dreadful (68), and then dc- no words to describe (55 points). Maybe there is something to the O’Hara curse. Hmmm….

Here’s how I see us after week one:

1) Kevin- Peterson is a monster and Boldin only scored one point in the opener. Let’s see what Hasselback does against a good team.
2) Nasty- Pretty solid across the board and his bench proved to be worthy contenders as well. Could be interesting.
3) Buzzsaw- Still like my team and was glad Brady got more comfortable. Mr. Obvious tells me he’s the key to my success. Need a WR!!!
4) Bush- I think we’re actually going to be pissed at Kyle if he can turn this team into a contender. Brees is the real deal and the brothers Johnson did nothing for him in week one and he still scored 114. Mike Bell could be interesting all year.
5) Pump- He’ll be sticking around all year. Is Ronnie Brown going to pull out some 40 point games and then 5 point games like last year? Maybe only against the Pats?
6) Big G- I worry about Parker and Barber, but he still has some ammo in his guns.
7) dc- You guys are going to laugh, but I still like this team. They’ll improve.
8) Catamounts- I’ll go on record to say that I think week one was a fluke for the Cats. Still don’t like this team, even less so now without LT.
9) Kinger- I really think my personal bias towards players on his team affects my judgment. I hate Larry Johnson, Philip Rivers, and TO so much that I couldn’t place this team any higher. I do, however, think Chris Cooley is pretty cool… and his wife isn’t that bad, either. Bonus points there.
10) Jon- Can someone call Jon and let him know the football season began last week?
11) Gamers- I like this team less and less every time I look at each of the teams. I have to stop looking at it or soon they’ll be ranked 20th.
12) Legged- Was Ryan drunk at the draft? Kyle Orton now leading the troops. Need I say more?

Well, there you have it. I hope to be a better commish for you during football than I was for baseball. Thanks for your patience and congratulations on finishing this whole article.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Predictions for '09

Nasty

Studs- Randall Moss
Duds- His entire bench- Flacco, Lewis, Taylor, Williams, Holt
Buds- Matt Ryan

Synopsis: Addai, Jacobs, Hightower, and Wayne should all go to the nearest park and hop on a four-person teeter totter. Who knows who will go up and who will go down. My initial thought is that somehow three out of the four are more likely to go down rather than up. Not only would it be a physical anomaly, but it would mean that end of Nasty’s season. Either way, not a good sign for Mr. Nasty.

Pump

Studs- Can we put Brian Westbrook and Ronnie Brown as studs? If I need to ask the question, I would say no.
Duds- Tommy Jones, The Car on his bench, Crayton
Buds- Donny Brown

Synopsis: I actually like the Lance Moore pick and think Greg Jennings and Aaron Rodgers should connect well this year. My worry with this team is the running back trio of Westbrook, Brown, and Jones. Can they last the whole season? Roethlisberger is a great NFL QB, but not sure if he deserves to start on a fantasy roster. Mark fought hard to get Lawrence Tynes… but I don’t think he’s going to save this team.

Bushleaguers

Studs- Brees, Johnson brothers
Duds- Jonny Stewart, DeSean Jackson
Buds- Not of any fault of his own, but there’s not much upside… unless a multitude of kickers, TEs, and Ds are worthy of budding.

Synopsis: Just with Brees and the Johnson brothers, Kyle at least has the foundation to build a playoff team. I can see him scouring the waiver wire to find the two or three RB gems that emerge every fantasy year. If he can snag a couple of these, he’ll be just fine. Not a huge fan of White or Stewart, but they’ll at least find the end zone a bunch. With anyone else besides Kyle, I’d bury this team. Unfortunately for the rest of us, I think there may be life for the two time defending champ.

Chester

Studs- Homo and LT
Duds- Ward, Avery, Driver
Buds- Jones, Bowe

Synopsis: Craigger’s team isn’t as terrible as I first thought, but it is pretty bad. He’ll need LT to at least get back to at least 2007 and with RBs track records, I don’t think this is happening. Don’t worry, he has Derrick Ward as his number two. His WRs aren’t that bad, but are we really going to trust a Bills WR (Owens included) to do much of anything this year? I like Dwayne Bowe, but if Cassell is hurt, who’s going to be throwing the ball to him? And Wes Welker is a steal in a PPR league, but seeing how we don’t give points for receptions he then falls into the mediocre category. He may not finish last, but he’s definitely not finishing first.

King

Studs- Jackson, Fitz
Duds- LJ, TO, and I’m going to put Rivers in there too as I’m not drinking his Kool-Aid
Buds- His entire bench: Mendenhall, Crabtree, Harvin, Nicks

Synopsis: Without a backup QB, Kinger is really putting his faith in Rivers. Not sure why, but I equate Rivers with Ryan Leaf. Something about the kid doesn’t seem quite right, like his taunting of Jay Cutler a couple years ago. Maybe I’m just rooting for him to fail, but whatever the reason, I wouldn’t want him as my only option. I don’t see any of Kingers budding stars making a huge impact this year and I think one or two will need to in order for this team to be successful. I think LJ is officially done and TO is one step away from this distinction. I look for TO to blow up on the Bills by Thanksgiving. All in all, too much of the unknown for this team to get the nod of approval from the big guy.

dc

Studs- Manning, Forte
Duds- Marshawn Lynch
Buds- Knowshon Moreno and Jamal Charles

Synopsis: Uh oh, dc, I really like this team. You got a very experienced QB leading your squad, a stud in Forte anchoring your RB core, two WRs that I expect big years from (Cotchery and Edwards), and a stocked bench that includes Jamal Charles that I believe will be the KC starting RB at some point, Ray Rice (same in Baltimore), and Greg Olsen who should be starting in many fantasy leagues. Wow! I always pick Dan to finish last, so I’m in quite the quandary.

Gamers

Studs- How could a team be void of having a stud? Not sure, but Amanti has found a way. Being the optimist he is, he is probably giving his team the Together We Can inspirational speech.
Duds- Portis, Grant, Palmer
Buds- Kevin Smith, Roddy White

Synopsis: So, it’s not that I hate this team, but I thought that I would like it better than Craigger’s and now I’m questioning that thought. I put three possible studs in the duds category because I’m just not a believer. I think Carson has been unhappy for a while and losing Housh won’t help matters. I see GB as a throwing offense now and, as hard as it is for me to say, I think Ladelle Betts will get more carries by seasons end than Portis. The bright light on this team is Roddy White, but everyone else needs to get their batteries checked. Not a fan of anyone on his bench, so Amanti will have to have some waiver wire magic to prove he belongs.

Big G

Studs- Michael Turner
Duds- Hines Ward, Fast Willie
Buds- Can I put Roy Williams here? I think his time to bud has finally come.

Synopsis: Cutler in Chicago? Don’t think he’s going to be the same gunslinger as we’ve all become accustomed to. Take it from me, Jason Campbell doesn’t deserve to be on anyone’s fantasy roster… not even if it was a 20 team league. He should be dropped immediately. Greg has a good overall team which should put him in the win category more than in the loss category. He has solid players throughout his roster, just no one in particular (besides Michael Turner) that has that WOW factor. I guess middle of the pack is where he is the most comfortable. I’ll put him in the “may surprise” category.

Cuz

Studs- Chris Johnson, Brandon Marshall
Duds- Donovan, Laverneus, Ochodickwad
Buds- McFadden

Synopsis: Yup, that’s right… I’m putting McNabb in the dud category. Why are people predicting this is going to be his best year? Did they get an outstanding receiving core that I don’t know about? Did their RB get younger? I just don’t see it. I actually see Philly floundering early and then having the Vick controversy build up steam. I like his RB duo of Johnson and McFadden, but am not a fan of two of the three WRs. With that said, I love Brandon Marshall (talent wise) and think he can carry these WRs some weeks on his own. Cousin has the worst bench of any team. He needs McFadden to finally break out and for Chris Johnson to stay healthy in order for him to have a chance.

Jon

Studs- Rodgers, Gore, MJD
Duds- Steve Smith
Buds- Beanie, Anthony Gonzalez, Breaston, and Bryant

Synopsis: Jon will be the second team to be unhappy with my predictions, because I think this team may even be better than Dan’s. He has two absolute studs in MJD and Gore for RBs and Aaron Rodgers at QB. I know it’s early for such bold predictions, but I’m expecting Rodgers to be a top three QB by year’s end. I actually like his two bench WRs to have bigger years than the two he has in his starting lineup right now (Smith and Gonzalez). I think some combination of Chambers, Breaston, and Bryant will prove to be the key for this team making it far into the playoffs.

Quevin

Studs- AP
Duds- Benson, Boldin
Buds- Shonn Green, Darren Sproles

Synopsis: AP we all predict will be huge, but I still don’t think he can stay healthy. His poor body takes so many big shots that I can’t see one of these ending his season. I actually like Reggie Bush to finally be a fantasy stud this year, but not enough to rank him with AP. I think he’ll be productive, just not elite quite yet. I like Colston to have a bounce back year, but I think Boldin severed ties in Arizon and Breaston will emerge as Warner’s number two option. Having Warner on this team means that he could have huge weeks and could have lousy weeks depending on how AZ does. If AP is AP, this team will do ok.

Buzzsaw

Studs- Tommy B
Duds- My entire bench- not anyone I’d feel comfortable starting except maybe Berrian.
Buds- Slaton, Royal

Synopsis: Last time I picked Tommy B with my first pick was last year. He does have two knees, you know. Lightning can’t strike twice can it? I already hear Amanti getting mad at me for the pure mention of this, so I’ll stop. Slaton and Williams are projected as top 10 RBs, but I’m not entirely sold on this. Eddie Royal and Santonio Holmes are exactly what I look for in my WRs and am not sure how I feel about them anchoring my WR core. I actually really go for the beefy WR, if you must know. Anyways, I can’t wait how my TE experiment is going to work out. Starting two TEs has never been done before, but I think I’m on to something. If this works, I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.

Predictions:

Teams that can etch their names into the playoffs right now:

Buzzsaw
Quevin
dc
Jon

Other two teams most likely to get in:

Big G
Bush

Right there the whole year:

Pump
Cousin
King

The rest of you are going to struggle, but I don’t think there’s a clear cut favorite for the coveted 13th place.

Playoff predictions:

First round: Big G v. Buzzsaw= Buzzsaw
Bush v. dc= dc

Second Round: dc v. Buzzsaw= dc
Quevin v. Jon= Jon

Battle of the three letter first names for the championship= DAN!!!