Power Rankings Week Three

Many of you don't know this, but I have always enjoyed picking on my good friend Christian (Tasha Pleasant). Whether it's his affection for big girls, his narcolepsy, or the fact that he actually likes to wear the dresses in his relationships, there's always something to pick on. Someday he's going to show up at my house with a shotgun, but until then... I need to say that I think we've reached a new low. His 39 point week three performance has to be some sort of record. Not a single one of his players scored in double digits. Not only that, but one player, Ronnie Brown, had more points than his entire team. All I can say is, WOW. I feel badly for the big girls in downtown Springfield, VT. Someone is going to get a sore ass.

Anyways, I hope you guys also know that I'm ok poking fun at myself as well. Whether it seems it or not, I really take this power rankings thing seriously. I look at each of the rosters, look at all of the bench slots, look at the free agent wire pickups and make my picks based on which teams I really believe are the class of the VFFL. No matter how much time I vest into these rankings, the teams I expect to do well, usually tank. Jon has fallen victim to my early confidence and now sits as the only winless team. My apologies to Jon. Amanti on the other hand I had all but written off, only to have him come back with a nice week three performance. I don’t foresee CBS calling me anytime soon to be the new Jimmy the Greek.

The funniest thing about these rankings was my recent realization that I didn't even put Kyle's team on the ranking order in last week's blog. I can only assume he didn't read the blog or he didn't mention anything because not even being mentioned on the rankings must mean that his team was going to have a monster week. Well, he's on the rankings this week and he's pretty high up, so look for a stinky week coming for team Bush.

... it won't be long before teams are writing to me to ask that they don't get put on the rankings, or maybe if they are put on the rankings, they're placed on the bottom. Maybe I can even begin to use this as a bargaining chip when negotiating trades. Trade me Marion Jones for Fred Jackson or I'll put you as number one in the power rankings. Anyone ever see the movie, The Cooler? Yup, that’s me in real life!

With all of this said, here are the week three power rankings (my apologies to Nasty):

1) Nasty- I've said for the last three weeks that this starting nine is one of the best in the league. Now with Rudi Johnson looking like the go-to back in Detroit and the potential lingering issue to LT makes Sproles a nice bye week option. Now I will say that he has four people on a bye this week, so if he flops, it's not only because I put him at number one this week.

2) Coatu- No question in my mind that he has the most depth at quality RBs in the league. I bet he's wishing that this was a keeper league in which you could keep four or five guys. Unfortunately for him, they're all young (except Pittman and Westbrook) and figuring out which ones are going to have good weeks is going to prove challenging. Let's see how King does in this pretty unfamiliar place for him.

3) Bush- If LT stays healthy, this is a going to be a strong team throughout. Brees if finally looking like he's hitting his stride and even on an off week, Jacobs finds the endzone. Even more so than Nasty, the worry here is his bench. Not sure how he's going to do throughout the next few bye weeks.

4) Monroe- This team could very well struggle this week (Good news for G that I’m saying this). I fully expect Spunky to be victorious (not sure why, but I know Jon is going to be upset with this prediction). With Wayne and idiot boy, Burress, in this lineup, he’s a formidable squad. Without them, he’s susceptible to an 0-3 team beating him down.

5) Pump- No Manning. No Addai. No problem. Luckily for Mark, he’s playing me this week. Even without these guys, he’s a 22 point favorite. Yup, that’s how solid my team is. He should continue to build on his performance from last week and be 2-2 through his first four games. By the way, did anyone else notice that Mark had three Defenses on his team last week and picked the one that scored the fewest points. It’s bad enough carrying three Ds, but then to pick the worst one, that’s just a shot to the groin.

6) Spunky- As mentioned above, I firmly believe this team will overcome horrendous management to find a way to beat up on Little G. If at some point he gets a chance to check his team to see that he has Roy Williams on a bye, he may actually have a chance to post his first W. I’m going to keep the votes of confidence going with this team- He definitely gets into the playoffs this year!

7) Legged- Being listed as a 23 point underdog to Dan has to knock you down a few spots in the power rankings. He is going without Dominick Rhodes who is on a bye, so that’s probably why he’s such a big underdog. My bold prediction this week would have to be that Cousin’s kicker, Matt Prater, will have more points than Steven Jackson. If that’s the case, Cousin will drop in next week’s power rankings.

8) Quevin- This team has potential… just wondering if it has the right guy at the helm. Could we see our first firing of a fantasy manager ever? Kevin is as secure as Lane Kiffin right now. The ax could fall at any point. How do you let Ronnie Brown sit on your bench when you know he’s going to light up the listless Patriots D? C’mon, everyone knew he was going to score five times! A new captain may be needed for this sinking ship.

9) dc- This is a matchup (Cousin against Dan) to see who is better at drafting a fantasy team. Cousin takes credit for Dan’s success in baseball, while Dan contends it was his management throughout the year that got him to the mountaintop. I guess this week’s matchup will shed some light on the real truth.

10) Gamers- Johnson, Housh, and Roddy Roddy Piper showed signs of life last week. Even with these signs, he’s in a precarious situation at QB. Doesn’t look like Derek Anderson is going to be starting many more games and I really think the Giants team is going to be primarily a running team this year. We’ll have to wait and see.

11) Tasha- Ok, so it’s bad enough when you score 39 in a week, but then to have the CBS “Guru” say you’re only going to get 59 this week is even worse. I don’t think I’ve ever seen this number under 80. I thought for sure Craig had some players with byes in his starting lineup only to find out that he didn’t. This could be another very ugly week for Mr. Craig.

12) Burt- Do you know that I’ve been waking up in cold-sweats thinking of the Tom Brady injury. How could Tommy let me down? By the way, anyone else find it interesting that Tommy B is nowhere to be found on the Pat’s sideline? Much like the Pats, Tommy hasn’t even texted me to help in the development of JT O’Sullivan. My team blows!

Power Rankings- Week Two

Our Fearless Week Two Power Rankings Leader, Chris King

I was upset that I didn't write this sooner, but I was going to predict that Adrian Peterson was going to suffer a devastating injury in the next two weeks. There's no way he lasts throughout the season and he may be done already... even if it is for only one week. Him going down is the only way I won't feel awful for drafting Tommy Boy. The way he gets hit and the way he twists and turns, he's definitely going to suffer a knee injury very soon.

So in my week one power rankings, I said that Buffy East and Spunky Bancroft were underrated and should be placed higher due to key players underperforming in week one. How do they repay me? By laying an egg in week two. I still like these two teams, although they have dropped in this week's rankings.

1) Coatu- King- By pasting 135 on Pump on Sunday, Kinger didn't do anything to warrant moving from the number one slot.

2) Monroe- Greg- By pasting 140 on Buffy on Sunday, Big G didn't' do anything to warrant moving from the number two slot.

3) Nasty- Even on a down week for Nasty, he still beat up on poor Amanti. Is it too late to call Amanti officially out of the playoffs? Nasty's upside is pretty high, but the bench is still a big concern. He'll need to stay healthy. I think I called LenDale White being a bust, but my thoughts of Marvin Harrison having a bounce back year came into question in week two.

4) Spunky- I still feel like this is a top five team. Heck, I'd even go so far as calling this a top three team. Not sure where his weaknesses are. Jon is probably wishing that I would stop celebrating his team as my confidence usually means the death to fantasy teams. I'm going to go out on a limb and predict that he has the high score this week.

5) Tasha- We knew that Craigger needed a big injury to propel his team forward, and the fantasy gods obliged by cutting down Fargas on Sunday. Now McFadden has to prove he's worthy. Still, the majority of his points came from his kicker and defense in week two. Can he expect that every week?

6) Lover- I have to put Cousin at this point, even though it's hard. I may be believing in McNabb a little more after the performance I saw on Monday night. He looked good. Michael Turner came back to earth... and I'm not sure he'll ever get crazy again this year.

7) Buffy- The only other more disappointing team up to this point, besides the Spunksters, has to be Buffy. Brees, Tomlinson, Jacobs, and Holmes have the talent to carry, but haven't yet all shown up on the same week.

8) Quevin- Is Romo the number one fantasy player now? Him combined with Lynch, Boldin, and the Pats D makes him a formidable foe. Unfortunately, the rest of his team is as good as Amanti and mine. 80 points a week will be the average for Quevin.

9) Pump- When is this bunch of underperformers going to be inspired? I think Mark needs a little closed door meeting with his bunch of hooligans. Is this the week that Manning and Addai finally show up?

10) Smokey- With Nick Folk, anything is possible. Down 10 points going into Monday night, Mr. Folk gave me the necessary points to squeeze out my first and possibly last win of the season. With Selvin Young and Deangelo Williams leading this offense, look for the Smokey Burts to remain in the basement.

11) dc- Getting Steve Smith will be a nice addition, but it's like icing on a pile of poo. Not much there to put the icing on.

12) Gamers- ... and then there was one. Remember when Amanti was always a contender in fantasy? Thankfully for us, he's now a doctor saving lives and doesn't have time for such silly games.

Week One Power Rankings

Week One Power Rankings:

I’ll try to adjust power rankings every week. We’ll see how that goes.

Brady going down killed my fantasy season. My team wasn’t good to begin with, now they’re downright awful. It’ll be interesting to see how this injury affects the Moss and Maroney and Welkers of the world. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. The funniest part of this injury, if there is one, is Mark sent me an e-mail when it happened wondering what I was going to do about my fantasy team. Does he realize that Brady plays for his beloved Patriots? I think he thinks this is Madden 2008 and he can simply not save the game, turn the console off, and start Brady again and pretend this injury never happened.

No other big injuries in week one (I’m not counting a overblown suicide story), so my power rankings are simply which players decided on stepping up in week one.

Here are my power rankings after one week:

1) Coatu Hazel- Kinger
Only weakness is tight end. Could this be the year of the King? He could be scary good if Perry, Johnson, Smith, and Slaton achieve to their potential.

2) Monroe Cedar- Big G
Great starting nine. Cutler was a nice surprise in week one and Marion Barber looked like an absolute beast. Only worry at this point is his bench.

3) Buffy East- Kyle
This team is much better than their week one performance. Brees, Tomlinson, Jacobs, Holmes will turn this team around. I still think they are one of the scariest teams to face.

4) Spunky Bancroft- Jon
I’m still not buying that Carson Palmer is going to have as bad a 2008 as he did a 2007. I’m looking for a big rebound this week. Gore and Peterson could be the best one-two punch of running backs. You’re welcome Jon for my great Brady pick at number two.

5) One Legged- Cousin
Yeah, he had a big week one. But are people really buying Donovan being that good all year? Michael Turner? On the upside, Steven Jackson did nothing so he’ll be a welcome addition when he decides to show up.

6) Pappa Pump- Stro
Talk about a team underachieving in week one. I would have their power ranking much higher if they hadn’t fallen on their face in week one. Manning, Addai, Jones-Drew, Jennings, Marshall… are you kidding me? He’ll be there in the end.

7) Big Nasty- Big Nasty
Another good starting nine. I would worry about LenDale White (see Johnson above), but on the upside, it looks like Marvin Harrison was a good pick up fairly late in the draft. What’s going to happen to Moss? We’ll have to wait to see.

8) Buster Nasty- Dan
If I were to name this team, I’d call them the War Heroes. There are more veterans on this team than any other. Matt Forte doesn’t know how he ever got himself in such a predictament..

9) Tasha Pleasant- Craigger
I have a feeling Craigger will always start the wrong people on the wrong week every week and thus he'll have more points on his bench more often than he does in his starting line up. I still think he has the second worst running back core behind yours truly.

10) Cuddles Norridgewalk- Kevin
Besides Romo and Lynch, this is the Has-Been team. A lot of his player achieved glory in years past. Can the do it again? This guy doesn’t think so.

11) Smokey Burt- Jeff
My team is atrocious. Let’s just say that I have Justin Gage starting in my flex spot. Let’s hope Kerry Collins remembers how to throw the ball. Looks like Selvin Young is going to fall victim to Shanahan’s ridiculous running back decisions. This is going to be a tough year. I’m so glad six teams are getting into the playoffs.

12) Duke Skyline- Amanti
I thought for sure I was going to be number 12. He’s gotten in the habit of blaming his busy schedule on his lack of fantasy knowledge, but he had an easy August and you know he was able to think about and then set up his line up for week one. The end result, 54 points in week one. I had more and Brady played for only 8 snaps or so. Now he doesn’t even know that Heap isn’t playing this week. Someone tell this kid that a hurricane hit the United States two nights ago.