The four teams out of the playoffs are very much like Tiger... they won't be getting any action in the next three weeks (interestingly, they all have more points than Craigger who is winning his division and is tied for the best record in our entire league. Just goes to show that no matter how tall you are, you can achieve greatness with a whole lot of luck):
dc, Quevin, Pump, and Crusaders- With these four teams, we have a good cross-section of year's past. Mark and Dan are usually in the playoff hunt, Greg is usually near the bottom, Kevin is all about the camaraderie of the league and doesn't really know that playoffs are starting (shh, don't tell him).
That leaves eight teams for six spots. Here's a detailed look at each team:
Nasty- Is in and has the best chance to win the entire league regular season championship. On a two game slide, if he were to lose again and if Craigger won, Craigger would be our regular season league champ. It at least looks Nasty has secured a first round playoff bye. Congrats.
Chester- Craigger, like I've mentioned above, has a dismal team and should feel lucky to even be in the playoffs, let alone be in a position to walk away with regular season honors. However, a loss and a Coatu win will mean that he'll be fighting for his life in the first round instead of having a comfy bye.
Cousin- As you know, I'm not a huge Cousin supporter. One reason is because he doesn't need a large supporter like myself (big truck syndrome) and second, I always like to think of him as my punching bag. How can I make fun of someone who does better than me? Sad day for me. Cousin is more or less in for the playoffs. His point total is high enough that even with a loss he should be able to maintain at least a top six slot. He has a very outside chance of winning the regular season crown (needs Craig and Matt to both lose and then he needs to beat Matt by more than 39). Cool part is that these two play each other this week in one of the only meaningful head to head matchups.
Coatu- Kinger is in the same position as Cousin. Everything is almost identical to what I said for Cousin (same record and only five points behind Cousin). Let's go ahead and give him a playoff spot, too.
Bush- We can all appreciate what Kyle has done to get to this point. If you remember, he wasn't able to attend the draft and somehow he got about 10 defenses and 10 tight ends on his team. Good thing he's the GM he is. Kudos to him for putting himself in this position. Unfortunately, he plays the hottest team in Verndale next week and desperately needs a win. I'd like to think this is the game of the week as the winner of this game will likely move on. BTW, I am still super stunned that he actually beat Amanti last week. Unbelievable. Puts the good doctor in a precarious slot.
Pat's ZZZZs- Last team to control its destiny (sort of). Jon and Amanti have the same record, but Jon has Amanti by 20 points. So, even if these two were to both win, as long as Amanti doesn't outscore him this week (by 20), Jon is in. Jon and Craigger face off against one another which will be an intriguing matchup as Craigger has Donald Driver and Jon has Aaron Rogers and the Pack D. Why do I mention this? This is the Monday night game and will determine many other teams fate.
Doctor Amanti- When I used to watch games with Amanti and would say something like, "There's no way the Pats can blow this game," he'd get seriously mad at me. And inevitably, the Pats would always blow the game. I didn't seriously mean to put the Gamers into the playoffs with my last blog, but I did and I can only imagine how made he is at me. His team is now in need of some help. Good thing we live in different states. Like i said last week, I think .500 means you're out. With the same record as Jon, I still believe that 6-6-1 won't get them to the playoffs. So, a loss by either and most likely they're both out. Should I once again bring up how I can't believe Kyle beat Amanti this past weekend? Like our soccer team used to say, "If you can't beat us on the field, beat us off." Amanti should make this his new motto.
Buzzsaw- Remember in baseball how I started to mow down opponents with ease? Yup, same thing is happening in football. Are you boys scared of me? I'm lethal in the second half. Watch out! Is it too late? Maybe. Probably. But I wouldn't want to be facing someone who had Brady this week. Last time he was pissed, he put up 50+ by himself. I definitely need a lot of help. Not only do I need to win, but I need to post a huge number and have Jon and Amanti both lose. Stranger things have happened.
ok, im tirod and doesnt feel like being a teacher no more, so imma not gonna edit this and just post it like it is.
Oh yeah, here's the schedule this week:
Coatu Hazel at dc
Pats' ZZZZZ's at Chester Catamounts
Bushleaguers at Return of the Buzzsaw
One Legged Lover at Big Nasty
GreenMountain Gamers at Quevin
BIG PAPPA PUMP at Memorial Crusaders
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Playoff Scenarios
With only a week and a half left of our season, the playoff picture is becoming a little more clear.
Before we get to possible playoff contenders, I must go back to my preseason rankings (even though it's really the last thing I want to do). I'm really not sure why I do so poorly with my football predictions. I read my pre-season narratives on each team and I wasn't too far off with my thoughts, yet I had Quevin and Dan as locks for the semi-finals, with Dan winning it all. There's not much that's definite about this year's playoff picture, but I can assure you that Dan and Quevin are definitely out. I take my predictions pretty seriously and feel awful for giving Dan and Kevin a false sense of security in September... even though my predictions may have led Kevin to betting me $20 that his team would finish better than mine. I guess I can't take it too hard.
If my thoughts are right, I think teams will need to finish at least 7-6 to have a shot at the playoffs. Even though a .500 team could possibly make the playoffs a lot will need to happen for this to even be a possibility. So, if this is actually accurate, Quevin, Dan, Greg, and Mark are out while Matt and Craigger are in. That's six teams that have their destiny determined, six that are in purgatory.
Remaining teams with a shot:
Return of the Buzzsaw- Out of the remaining teams, I have the worst shot to get into the playoffs. Riding a three game win streak, I'm hoping to do the improbable, win five in a row, and march into the playoffs as the sixth seed. One more loss will mean the end of Buzzsaws season.
Pats ZZZZZZs- Second worst chance of making it in, however, on Thursday night he put up 50 points with only two players while Pump only managed 13 for two players. We've seen stranger things happen, but it seems as if Pats will get a much needed victory to stay in the hunt. With a tie on his resume, Jon may be able to get away with a loss in his last two, but it's doubtful that 6-6-1 will buy a ticket to the big dance.
Kyle, Cousin, and King- These three teams all sit at 6-5 and are all just as likely to make the playoffs as they are to miss the playoffs. Two wins and they're in, two losses and they're out. One win and one loss would come down to who loves 1 lb, 7 oz. baby Jesus the most. King is presently down 50 to The Crusaders, but Greg had half his team going. Will this be enough? Time will only tell. Cousin only got two points from Boss, so I'm sure he was hoping for more. Bush got 10 out of his kicker while Amanti got 25 out of three starters. All in all, after one day played this week, nothing is any clearer with this clusterfuck. If I were a betting man, I'd say two out of these three teams will get in and either Jon or myself will steal the last slot. That's my guess. None of these teams play each other this week or next which could be a good thing or a terrible thing for the rest of us.
Gamers- Sitting at 6-4-1 is good enough for third place right now, but doesn't automatically put him in the show. You'd think this was a sure thing, but I thought the hot blond he was out with on Saturday night was a sure thing, but he unexpectedly left her all by herself outside of the bar at 2:00 am with no way of getting home. Yes, it did provide us with some well-needed end-of-the-night entertainment, but goes to prove that there really are no sure things in life anymore. Just writing this makes me feel so badly for this lost soul he left hanging. Such a shame.
I promise, promise, promise to write again after Sunday to give a full run-down of playoff scenarios. Until then, here's to everybody losing this week except for me!
Before we get to possible playoff contenders, I must go back to my preseason rankings (even though it's really the last thing I want to do). I'm really not sure why I do so poorly with my football predictions. I read my pre-season narratives on each team and I wasn't too far off with my thoughts, yet I had Quevin and Dan as locks for the semi-finals, with Dan winning it all. There's not much that's definite about this year's playoff picture, but I can assure you that Dan and Quevin are definitely out. I take my predictions pretty seriously and feel awful for giving Dan and Kevin a false sense of security in September... even though my predictions may have led Kevin to betting me $20 that his team would finish better than mine. I guess I can't take it too hard.
If my thoughts are right, I think teams will need to finish at least 7-6 to have a shot at the playoffs. Even though a .500 team could possibly make the playoffs a lot will need to happen for this to even be a possibility. So, if this is actually accurate, Quevin, Dan, Greg, and Mark are out while Matt and Craigger are in. That's six teams that have their destiny determined, six that are in purgatory.
Remaining teams with a shot:
Return of the Buzzsaw- Out of the remaining teams, I have the worst shot to get into the playoffs. Riding a three game win streak, I'm hoping to do the improbable, win five in a row, and march into the playoffs as the sixth seed. One more loss will mean the end of Buzzsaws season.
Pats ZZZZZZs- Second worst chance of making it in, however, on Thursday night he put up 50 points with only two players while Pump only managed 13 for two players. We've seen stranger things happen, but it seems as if Pats will get a much needed victory to stay in the hunt. With a tie on his resume, Jon may be able to get away with a loss in his last two, but it's doubtful that 6-6-1 will buy a ticket to the big dance.
Kyle, Cousin, and King- These three teams all sit at 6-5 and are all just as likely to make the playoffs as they are to miss the playoffs. Two wins and they're in, two losses and they're out. One win and one loss would come down to who loves 1 lb, 7 oz. baby Jesus the most. King is presently down 50 to The Crusaders, but Greg had half his team going. Will this be enough? Time will only tell. Cousin only got two points from Boss, so I'm sure he was hoping for more. Bush got 10 out of his kicker while Amanti got 25 out of three starters. All in all, after one day played this week, nothing is any clearer with this clusterfuck. If I were a betting man, I'd say two out of these three teams will get in and either Jon or myself will steal the last slot. That's my guess. None of these teams play each other this week or next which could be a good thing or a terrible thing for the rest of us.
Gamers- Sitting at 6-4-1 is good enough for third place right now, but doesn't automatically put him in the show. You'd think this was a sure thing, but I thought the hot blond he was out with on Saturday night was a sure thing, but he unexpectedly left her all by herself outside of the bar at 2:00 am with no way of getting home. Yes, it did provide us with some well-needed end-of-the-night entertainment, but goes to prove that there really are no sure things in life anymore. Just writing this makes me feel so badly for this lost soul he left hanging. Such a shame.
I promise, promise, promise to write again after Sunday to give a full run-down of playoff scenarios. Until then, here's to everybody losing this week except for me!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Week Three Power Rankings
Week Three Power Rankings
The good news: There’s no undefeated (3-0) team in our league.
The bad news: There’s only one 0-3 team in our league.
The badder news: That team is me.
I suck.
By points, here’s how we stand:
Nasty- 293
Greg- 292
Quevin- 283
Bush- 280
Jon- 280
Gamers- 271
King- 266
Cousin- 250
dc- 239
Pump- 232
Chester- 214
Me- 142 (although this isn’t accurate as my lineup week two was illegal and I didn’t get any points… oh well).
So, what can I take away from these overall points? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nasty is 2-1 and maybe he should be 3-0. Greg and Kevin are 1-2 and, by points, they have the second and third best team in our league. Could they be 3-0? Absolutely. Here I’m in last place and I could definitely be 3-0. Ok, that’s me just being funny, but anything is impossible. What I really take away, is that everyone is still more or less still in the playoff hunt as no one has been able to break away at 3-0 yet. You guys are giving me and Craigger a chance to let our dreadful teams take shape. That could be dangerous. Ok, maybe not for us, but one of the 1-2 teams could definitely end up being the year-end champ. Not to put any pressure on anyone, but every week matters. Just like Herm says, “We play to win the game.”
Throw out records, throw out points, here’s who I think has the best team:
1) Quevin- His QB situation is a mess right now, but he has depth in RB and WR and is great across the board.
2) Nasty- Flaco is turning out to be the real deal, which isn’t good news for us. I actually am not a big fan of his RB committee, but that doesn’t mean anything. (Interestingly enough these two teams face off against each other. Since I have Quevin ahead of Nasty in these rankings, you can pretty much put a W in Nasty’s column after this week).
3) dc- It’s only a matter of time before Ray Rice starts to get McGahee’s touchdowns. I have McGahee in my other league and I couldn’t be happier with his production, but I’m also realistic. A little weak in the WR group, but there’s plenty out there on the waiver wire to fix this problem.
4) Jon- Jon cracks me up. He’s so confident that he’s going to win this week, that he decided that he didn’t need to replace Steve Smith who’s on a bye. Yup, he’s just taking a zero for one of his categories. If Craigger doesn’t beat him this week, well, that’s just embarrassing. This team could go either way.
5) Pump- Solid across the board. Do the Steelers still throw the ball 40 times after their 1-2 start? If so, this team could find their way into the top four next week. Big matchup with King this week. I’m intrigued to see who comes out the victor. Unfortunately for Mark, I’m picking him.
6) King- I give him credit for benching Owens. I think he’s trying to teach him a lesson. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson and stop being such a bum. As mentioned above, I worry about McGahee, but if he continues to score, this team will be moving up.
7) Cats- I like what Craigger did with his waiver wire pickups and even picking up Slaton from me. I’m interested to see how Garcon plays this week. Could he be the next Reggie Wayne? With Pierre Thomas back, can this team be a contender?
8) Bush- From 1st to 8th? Lendale isn’t getting as many touches, Davis is banged up, and Choice is back to being a backup. This is going to have to be the Brees and Johnson show.
9) Crusaders- I usually root for the big guy, but his team is banged up. I think the Cowboy RB situation is going to be a mess all year. Don’t really know who to trust.
10) Gamers- I’m holding to my guns on this team. I don’t think this team is good. He’s had some great weeks, but I feel like it’ll soon come to an end. I know this is music to Amanti’s ears, but does any feel like this is a good team? He’s fortunately playing his cousin today, so he may have one more good week.
11) Lovers- How is this team 2-1? If I don’t finish higher than this team, I retire.
12) Buzzsaw- How did this happen? Brady blows!!!
The good news: There’s no undefeated (3-0) team in our league.
The bad news: There’s only one 0-3 team in our league.
The badder news: That team is me.
I suck.
By points, here’s how we stand:
Nasty- 293
Greg- 292
Quevin- 283
Bush- 280
Jon- 280
Gamers- 271
King- 266
Cousin- 250
dc- 239
Pump- 232
Chester- 214
Me- 142 (although this isn’t accurate as my lineup week two was illegal and I didn’t get any points… oh well).
So, what can I take away from these overall points? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Nasty is 2-1 and maybe he should be 3-0. Greg and Kevin are 1-2 and, by points, they have the second and third best team in our league. Could they be 3-0? Absolutely. Here I’m in last place and I could definitely be 3-0. Ok, that’s me just being funny, but anything is impossible. What I really take away, is that everyone is still more or less still in the playoff hunt as no one has been able to break away at 3-0 yet. You guys are giving me and Craigger a chance to let our dreadful teams take shape. That could be dangerous. Ok, maybe not for us, but one of the 1-2 teams could definitely end up being the year-end champ. Not to put any pressure on anyone, but every week matters. Just like Herm says, “We play to win the game.”
Throw out records, throw out points, here’s who I think has the best team:
1) Quevin- His QB situation is a mess right now, but he has depth in RB and WR and is great across the board.
2) Nasty- Flaco is turning out to be the real deal, which isn’t good news for us. I actually am not a big fan of his RB committee, but that doesn’t mean anything. (Interestingly enough these two teams face off against each other. Since I have Quevin ahead of Nasty in these rankings, you can pretty much put a W in Nasty’s column after this week).
3) dc- It’s only a matter of time before Ray Rice starts to get McGahee’s touchdowns. I have McGahee in my other league and I couldn’t be happier with his production, but I’m also realistic. A little weak in the WR group, but there’s plenty out there on the waiver wire to fix this problem.
4) Jon- Jon cracks me up. He’s so confident that he’s going to win this week, that he decided that he didn’t need to replace Steve Smith who’s on a bye. Yup, he’s just taking a zero for one of his categories. If Craigger doesn’t beat him this week, well, that’s just embarrassing. This team could go either way.
5) Pump- Solid across the board. Do the Steelers still throw the ball 40 times after their 1-2 start? If so, this team could find their way into the top four next week. Big matchup with King this week. I’m intrigued to see who comes out the victor. Unfortunately for Mark, I’m picking him.
6) King- I give him credit for benching Owens. I think he’s trying to teach him a lesson. Maybe he’ll learn his lesson and stop being such a bum. As mentioned above, I worry about McGahee, but if he continues to score, this team will be moving up.
7) Cats- I like what Craigger did with his waiver wire pickups and even picking up Slaton from me. I’m interested to see how Garcon plays this week. Could he be the next Reggie Wayne? With Pierre Thomas back, can this team be a contender?
8) Bush- From 1st to 8th? Lendale isn’t getting as many touches, Davis is banged up, and Choice is back to being a backup. This is going to have to be the Brees and Johnson show.
9) Crusaders- I usually root for the big guy, but his team is banged up. I think the Cowboy RB situation is going to be a mess all year. Don’t really know who to trust.
10) Gamers- I’m holding to my guns on this team. I don’t think this team is good. He’s had some great weeks, but I feel like it’ll soon come to an end. I know this is music to Amanti’s ears, but does any feel like this is a good team? He’s fortunately playing his cousin today, so he may have one more good week.
11) Lovers- How is this team 2-1? If I don’t finish higher than this team, I retire.
12) Buzzsaw- How did this happen? Brady blows!!!
Monday, September 21, 2009
After Week Two
After week two (Monday night hasn’t happened yet):
Just by score:
Bush- 220
Quevin- 218
Nasty- 188
King- 186
Crusaders- 178
Pat’s ZZZZs- 172
Gamers- 172
Pump- 171
Buzzsaw-163
Legged- 163
Chester- 149
dc- 106
Ok, so the other thing that I have learned (other than me having the worst luck) is that no matter what I say, the opposite is more likely to come true. Me picking Ryan to finish last was actually the dumbest thing I could have done. I should’ve penciled Chris Johnson in for 45 points right then and there. First I get Adrian Peterson scoring some ridiculous number and then I get Chris Johnson laying 45 on me. F my life. The only thing that I enjoyed about this is that this will be the first and last time a person scores as many points as a team. I’m serious. If Chris Johnson played Craigger’s entire team, they would’ve tied. That makes me laugh. 45 points, Craig? Really! doesn’t come close to what I’m thinking.
So, we tried to screw Kyle big time with loading his team up with kickers and defenses during the draft, but the bastard just doesn’t go away. He not only is winning, but arguably beating the best team out there right now. The kid just finds a way to win. It’s annoying. On the flip side, there’s my team who should be good, but finds it funny to fall on their face week after week just to make me look like a dumbass. Anyone want Tom Brady? What a bum! Using a little reverse psychology, I’m putting Bush as the one seed this week as this should definitely signal his demise. Not sure what else to do… any other ideas?
The only thing I got right from last week’s column, was that six teams were going to score 100 points or more this week. There has to be some sort of door prize for that. Here’s this week’s rankings?
1) Bush- Johnson and Johnson had good weeks, Brees was Brees, we’re in trouble
2) Quevin- Hasselback might be out, good news for us? Nope, he has Warner.
3) Kinger- Could Percy Harvin be for real? Let’s hope not.
4) Nasty- One good week, one bad… Sign of things to come?
5) Jon- Good morning Jon, nice of you to join us.
6) Crusaders- Big G in need of a Big WR
7) Pump- Down week for Pump would have me nervous if I were him.
8) Gamers- Making me eat my words. Schaub came back with a vengeance… too bad he was on Amanti’s bench.
9) Legged- Douche Bag= Chris Johnson
10) Buzzsaw- Fire sale!!! Who wants Brady???
11) dc- Anyone realize that Dan has 106 total points through two weeks? Anyone want to know how he’s not last? Well, that happens when someone only manages 45 points in one week. Ouch.
12) Chester- Pathetic.
Just by score:
Bush- 220
Quevin- 218
Nasty- 188
King- 186
Crusaders- 178
Pat’s ZZZZs- 172
Gamers- 172
Pump- 171
Buzzsaw-163
Legged- 163
Chester- 149
dc- 106
Ok, so the other thing that I have learned (other than me having the worst luck) is that no matter what I say, the opposite is more likely to come true. Me picking Ryan to finish last was actually the dumbest thing I could have done. I should’ve penciled Chris Johnson in for 45 points right then and there. First I get Adrian Peterson scoring some ridiculous number and then I get Chris Johnson laying 45 on me. F my life. The only thing that I enjoyed about this is that this will be the first and last time a person scores as many points as a team. I’m serious. If Chris Johnson played Craigger’s entire team, they would’ve tied. That makes me laugh. 45 points, Craig? Really! doesn’t come close to what I’m thinking.
So, we tried to screw Kyle big time with loading his team up with kickers and defenses during the draft, but the bastard just doesn’t go away. He not only is winning, but arguably beating the best team out there right now. The kid just finds a way to win. It’s annoying. On the flip side, there’s my team who should be good, but finds it funny to fall on their face week after week just to make me look like a dumbass. Anyone want Tom Brady? What a bum! Using a little reverse psychology, I’m putting Bush as the one seed this week as this should definitely signal his demise. Not sure what else to do… any other ideas?
The only thing I got right from last week’s column, was that six teams were going to score 100 points or more this week. There has to be some sort of door prize for that. Here’s this week’s rankings?
1) Bush- Johnson and Johnson had good weeks, Brees was Brees, we’re in trouble
2) Quevin- Hasselback might be out, good news for us? Nope, he has Warner.
3) Kinger- Could Percy Harvin be for real? Let’s hope not.
4) Nasty- One good week, one bad… Sign of things to come?
5) Jon- Good morning Jon, nice of you to join us.
6) Crusaders- Big G in need of a Big WR
7) Pump- Down week for Pump would have me nervous if I were him.
8) Gamers- Making me eat my words. Schaub came back with a vengeance… too bad he was on Amanti’s bench.
9) Legged- Douche Bag= Chris Johnson
10) Buzzsaw- Fire sale!!! Who wants Brady???
11) dc- Anyone realize that Dan has 106 total points through two weeks? Anyone want to know how he’s not last? Well, that happens when someone only manages 45 points in one week. Ouch.
12) Chester- Pathetic.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Power Rankings- Week One
After week one:
Just by score:
Nasty- 128
Quevin- 116
Bush- 114
Chester- 104
Pump- 96
Buzzsaw- 91 (Highest number this week to lose)
Crusaders- 85
Gamers- 71
Pat’s ZZZs- 68
Kinger- 63 (Lowest number this week to win)
One Legged- 61
dc- 55
My thoughts, just from looking at the score: My immediate reaction is how quiet Kinger has been since ripping the league for not using Power Rankings. I guess he’s ok with scoring 63 points in a week and being tied for first (even with the win, he’d be tied for 7th in the Power Rankings). Anyways, I just chuckled to myself when I saw the irony.
Moving on, anyone watch SNL anymore? I’m thinking of Seth Myers and Amy Poehler doing Weekend Update where they constantly read ridiculous news stories and emphatically say, “Really!” This week’s “Really?” moment goes to none other than Dan. 55 Points? Really?!? Dude, were you thinking about the baseball championships or something? 55 Points? Really?!?
Four teams were able to score in the triple digits in week one; a sad, sad showing given the fact that there were very few injuries and no byes. I am going to say that six team will eclipse the 100 point plateau this week.
My last thought before getting into power rankings is that being in two fantasy leagues suck when you are known for having the worst luck. I routinely get kicked in the balls for no good reason during different points of my life and this past week was one. Not only did my baseball team decide not to show up last week (should’ve used the power rankings from the last four years to just crown me champion already), but, as my awful luck would have it, both of my football fantasy teams faced Adrian Peterson in week one (of course). I know he’s great and phenomenal and all things to all young boys, but isn’t 20 points enough. 37? Really? I mean, c’mon, he almost beat dc by himself.
Ok, one more thought as I just looked at my preseason rankings. I thought these would be the top four teams this year in those rankings: Me, Kevin, Jon, and Dan. Here’s how we did: Kevin- great (116 points), Me- ok, but lost (91 points), Jon- dreadful (68), and then dc- no words to describe (55 points). Maybe there is something to the O’Hara curse. Hmmm….
Here’s how I see us after week one:
1) Kevin- Peterson is a monster and Boldin only scored one point in the opener. Let’s see what Hasselback does against a good team.
2) Nasty- Pretty solid across the board and his bench proved to be worthy contenders as well. Could be interesting.
3) Buzzsaw- Still like my team and was glad Brady got more comfortable. Mr. Obvious tells me he’s the key to my success. Need a WR!!!
4) Bush- I think we’re actually going to be pissed at Kyle if he can turn this team into a contender. Brees is the real deal and the brothers Johnson did nothing for him in week one and he still scored 114. Mike Bell could be interesting all year.
5) Pump- He’ll be sticking around all year. Is Ronnie Brown going to pull out some 40 point games and then 5 point games like last year? Maybe only against the Pats?
6) Big G- I worry about Parker and Barber, but he still has some ammo in his guns.
7) dc- You guys are going to laugh, but I still like this team. They’ll improve.
8) Catamounts- I’ll go on record to say that I think week one was a fluke for the Cats. Still don’t like this team, even less so now without LT.
9) Kinger- I really think my personal bias towards players on his team affects my judgment. I hate Larry Johnson, Philip Rivers, and TO so much that I couldn’t place this team any higher. I do, however, think Chris Cooley is pretty cool… and his wife isn’t that bad, either. Bonus points there.
10) Jon- Can someone call Jon and let him know the football season began last week?
11) Gamers- I like this team less and less every time I look at each of the teams. I have to stop looking at it or soon they’ll be ranked 20th.
12) Legged- Was Ryan drunk at the draft? Kyle Orton now leading the troops. Need I say more?
Well, there you have it. I hope to be a better commish for you during football than I was for baseball. Thanks for your patience and congratulations on finishing this whole article.
Just by score:
Nasty- 128
Quevin- 116
Bush- 114
Chester- 104
Pump- 96
Buzzsaw- 91 (Highest number this week to lose)
Crusaders- 85
Gamers- 71
Pat’s ZZZs- 68
Kinger- 63 (Lowest number this week to win)
One Legged- 61
dc- 55
My thoughts, just from looking at the score: My immediate reaction is how quiet Kinger has been since ripping the league for not using Power Rankings. I guess he’s ok with scoring 63 points in a week and being tied for first (even with the win, he’d be tied for 7th in the Power Rankings). Anyways, I just chuckled to myself when I saw the irony.
Moving on, anyone watch SNL anymore? I’m thinking of Seth Myers and Amy Poehler doing Weekend Update where they constantly read ridiculous news stories and emphatically say, “Really!” This week’s “Really?” moment goes to none other than Dan. 55 Points? Really?!? Dude, were you thinking about the baseball championships or something? 55 Points? Really?!?
Four teams were able to score in the triple digits in week one; a sad, sad showing given the fact that there were very few injuries and no byes. I am going to say that six team will eclipse the 100 point plateau this week.
My last thought before getting into power rankings is that being in two fantasy leagues suck when you are known for having the worst luck. I routinely get kicked in the balls for no good reason during different points of my life and this past week was one. Not only did my baseball team decide not to show up last week (should’ve used the power rankings from the last four years to just crown me champion already), but, as my awful luck would have it, both of my football fantasy teams faced Adrian Peterson in week one (of course). I know he’s great and phenomenal and all things to all young boys, but isn’t 20 points enough. 37? Really? I mean, c’mon, he almost beat dc by himself.
Ok, one more thought as I just looked at my preseason rankings. I thought these would be the top four teams this year in those rankings: Me, Kevin, Jon, and Dan. Here’s how we did: Kevin- great (116 points), Me- ok, but lost (91 points), Jon- dreadful (68), and then dc- no words to describe (55 points). Maybe there is something to the O’Hara curse. Hmmm….
Here’s how I see us after week one:
1) Kevin- Peterson is a monster and Boldin only scored one point in the opener. Let’s see what Hasselback does against a good team.
2) Nasty- Pretty solid across the board and his bench proved to be worthy contenders as well. Could be interesting.
3) Buzzsaw- Still like my team and was glad Brady got more comfortable. Mr. Obvious tells me he’s the key to my success. Need a WR!!!
4) Bush- I think we’re actually going to be pissed at Kyle if he can turn this team into a contender. Brees is the real deal and the brothers Johnson did nothing for him in week one and he still scored 114. Mike Bell could be interesting all year.
5) Pump- He’ll be sticking around all year. Is Ronnie Brown going to pull out some 40 point games and then 5 point games like last year? Maybe only against the Pats?
6) Big G- I worry about Parker and Barber, but he still has some ammo in his guns.
7) dc- You guys are going to laugh, but I still like this team. They’ll improve.
8) Catamounts- I’ll go on record to say that I think week one was a fluke for the Cats. Still don’t like this team, even less so now without LT.
9) Kinger- I really think my personal bias towards players on his team affects my judgment. I hate Larry Johnson, Philip Rivers, and TO so much that I couldn’t place this team any higher. I do, however, think Chris Cooley is pretty cool… and his wife isn’t that bad, either. Bonus points there.
10) Jon- Can someone call Jon and let him know the football season began last week?
11) Gamers- I like this team less and less every time I look at each of the teams. I have to stop looking at it or soon they’ll be ranked 20th.
12) Legged- Was Ryan drunk at the draft? Kyle Orton now leading the troops. Need I say more?
Well, there you have it. I hope to be a better commish for you during football than I was for baseball. Thanks for your patience and congratulations on finishing this whole article.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Predictions for '09
Nasty
Studs- Randall Moss
Duds- His entire bench- Flacco, Lewis, Taylor, Williams, Holt
Buds- Matt Ryan
Synopsis: Addai, Jacobs, Hightower, and Wayne should all go to the nearest park and hop on a four-person teeter totter. Who knows who will go up and who will go down. My initial thought is that somehow three out of the four are more likely to go down rather than up. Not only would it be a physical anomaly, but it would mean that end of Nasty’s season. Either way, not a good sign for Mr. Nasty.
Pump
Studs- Can we put Brian Westbrook and Ronnie Brown as studs? If I need to ask the question, I would say no.
Duds- Tommy Jones, The Car on his bench, Crayton
Buds- Donny Brown
Synopsis: I actually like the Lance Moore pick and think Greg Jennings and Aaron Rodgers should connect well this year. My worry with this team is the running back trio of Westbrook, Brown, and Jones. Can they last the whole season? Roethlisberger is a great NFL QB, but not sure if he deserves to start on a fantasy roster. Mark fought hard to get Lawrence Tynes… but I don’t think he’s going to save this team.
Bushleaguers
Studs- Brees, Johnson brothers
Duds- Jonny Stewart, DeSean Jackson
Buds- Not of any fault of his own, but there’s not much upside… unless a multitude of kickers, TEs, and Ds are worthy of budding.
Synopsis: Just with Brees and the Johnson brothers, Kyle at least has the foundation to build a playoff team. I can see him scouring the waiver wire to find the two or three RB gems that emerge every fantasy year. If he can snag a couple of these, he’ll be just fine. Not a huge fan of White or Stewart, but they’ll at least find the end zone a bunch. With anyone else besides Kyle, I’d bury this team. Unfortunately for the rest of us, I think there may be life for the two time defending champ.
Chester
Studs- Homo and LT
Duds- Ward, Avery, Driver
Buds- Jones, Bowe
Synopsis: Craigger’s team isn’t as terrible as I first thought, but it is pretty bad. He’ll need LT to at least get back to at least 2007 and with RBs track records, I don’t think this is happening. Don’t worry, he has Derrick Ward as his number two. His WRs aren’t that bad, but are we really going to trust a Bills WR (Owens included) to do much of anything this year? I like Dwayne Bowe, but if Cassell is hurt, who’s going to be throwing the ball to him? And Wes Welker is a steal in a PPR league, but seeing how we don’t give points for receptions he then falls into the mediocre category. He may not finish last, but he’s definitely not finishing first.
King
Studs- Jackson, Fitz
Duds- LJ, TO, and I’m going to put Rivers in there too as I’m not drinking his Kool-Aid
Buds- His entire bench: Mendenhall, Crabtree, Harvin, Nicks
Synopsis: Without a backup QB, Kinger is really putting his faith in Rivers. Not sure why, but I equate Rivers with Ryan Leaf. Something about the kid doesn’t seem quite right, like his taunting of Jay Cutler a couple years ago. Maybe I’m just rooting for him to fail, but whatever the reason, I wouldn’t want him as my only option. I don’t see any of Kingers budding stars making a huge impact this year and I think one or two will need to in order for this team to be successful. I think LJ is officially done and TO is one step away from this distinction. I look for TO to blow up on the Bills by Thanksgiving. All in all, too much of the unknown for this team to get the nod of approval from the big guy.
dc
Studs- Manning, Forte
Duds- Marshawn Lynch
Buds- Knowshon Moreno and Jamal Charles
Synopsis: Uh oh, dc, I really like this team. You got a very experienced QB leading your squad, a stud in Forte anchoring your RB core, two WRs that I expect big years from (Cotchery and Edwards), and a stocked bench that includes Jamal Charles that I believe will be the KC starting RB at some point, Ray Rice (same in Baltimore), and Greg Olsen who should be starting in many fantasy leagues. Wow! I always pick Dan to finish last, so I’m in quite the quandary.
Gamers
Studs- How could a team be void of having a stud? Not sure, but Amanti has found a way. Being the optimist he is, he is probably giving his team the Together We Can inspirational speech.
Duds- Portis, Grant, Palmer
Buds- Kevin Smith, Roddy White
Synopsis: So, it’s not that I hate this team, but I thought that I would like it better than Craigger’s and now I’m questioning that thought. I put three possible studs in the duds category because I’m just not a believer. I think Carson has been unhappy for a while and losing Housh won’t help matters. I see GB as a throwing offense now and, as hard as it is for me to say, I think Ladelle Betts will get more carries by seasons end than Portis. The bright light on this team is Roddy White, but everyone else needs to get their batteries checked. Not a fan of anyone on his bench, so Amanti will have to have some waiver wire magic to prove he belongs.
Big G
Studs- Michael Turner
Duds- Hines Ward, Fast Willie
Buds- Can I put Roy Williams here? I think his time to bud has finally come.
Synopsis: Cutler in Chicago? Don’t think he’s going to be the same gunslinger as we’ve all become accustomed to. Take it from me, Jason Campbell doesn’t deserve to be on anyone’s fantasy roster… not even if it was a 20 team league. He should be dropped immediately. Greg has a good overall team which should put him in the win category more than in the loss category. He has solid players throughout his roster, just no one in particular (besides Michael Turner) that has that WOW factor. I guess middle of the pack is where he is the most comfortable. I’ll put him in the “may surprise” category.
Cuz
Studs- Chris Johnson, Brandon Marshall
Duds- Donovan, Laverneus, Ochodickwad
Buds- McFadden
Synopsis: Yup, that’s right… I’m putting McNabb in the dud category. Why are people predicting this is going to be his best year? Did they get an outstanding receiving core that I don’t know about? Did their RB get younger? I just don’t see it. I actually see Philly floundering early and then having the Vick controversy build up steam. I like his RB duo of Johnson and McFadden, but am not a fan of two of the three WRs. With that said, I love Brandon Marshall (talent wise) and think he can carry these WRs some weeks on his own. Cousin has the worst bench of any team. He needs McFadden to finally break out and for Chris Johnson to stay healthy in order for him to have a chance.
Jon
Studs- Rodgers, Gore, MJD
Duds- Steve Smith
Buds- Beanie, Anthony Gonzalez, Breaston, and Bryant
Synopsis: Jon will be the second team to be unhappy with my predictions, because I think this team may even be better than Dan’s. He has two absolute studs in MJD and Gore for RBs and Aaron Rodgers at QB. I know it’s early for such bold predictions, but I’m expecting Rodgers to be a top three QB by year’s end. I actually like his two bench WRs to have bigger years than the two he has in his starting lineup right now (Smith and Gonzalez). I think some combination of Chambers, Breaston, and Bryant will prove to be the key for this team making it far into the playoffs.
Quevin
Studs- AP
Duds- Benson, Boldin
Buds- Shonn Green, Darren Sproles
Synopsis: AP we all predict will be huge, but I still don’t think he can stay healthy. His poor body takes so many big shots that I can’t see one of these ending his season. I actually like Reggie Bush to finally be a fantasy stud this year, but not enough to rank him with AP. I think he’ll be productive, just not elite quite yet. I like Colston to have a bounce back year, but I think Boldin severed ties in Arizon and Breaston will emerge as Warner’s number two option. Having Warner on this team means that he could have huge weeks and could have lousy weeks depending on how AZ does. If AP is AP, this team will do ok.
Buzzsaw
Studs- Tommy B
Duds- My entire bench- not anyone I’d feel comfortable starting except maybe Berrian.
Buds- Slaton, Royal
Synopsis: Last time I picked Tommy B with my first pick was last year. He does have two knees, you know. Lightning can’t strike twice can it? I already hear Amanti getting mad at me for the pure mention of this, so I’ll stop. Slaton and Williams are projected as top 10 RBs, but I’m not entirely sold on this. Eddie Royal and Santonio Holmes are exactly what I look for in my WRs and am not sure how I feel about them anchoring my WR core. I actually really go for the beefy WR, if you must know. Anyways, I can’t wait how my TE experiment is going to work out. Starting two TEs has never been done before, but I think I’m on to something. If this works, I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Predictions:
Teams that can etch their names into the playoffs right now:
Buzzsaw
Quevin
dc
Jon
Other two teams most likely to get in:
Big G
Bush
Right there the whole year:
Pump
Cousin
King
The rest of you are going to struggle, but I don’t think there’s a clear cut favorite for the coveted 13th place.
Playoff predictions:
First round: Big G v. Buzzsaw= Buzzsaw
Bush v. dc= dc
Second Round: dc v. Buzzsaw= dc
Quevin v. Jon= Jon
Battle of the three letter first names for the championship= DAN!!!
Studs- Randall Moss
Duds- His entire bench- Flacco, Lewis, Taylor, Williams, Holt
Buds- Matt Ryan
Synopsis: Addai, Jacobs, Hightower, and Wayne should all go to the nearest park and hop on a four-person teeter totter. Who knows who will go up and who will go down. My initial thought is that somehow three out of the four are more likely to go down rather than up. Not only would it be a physical anomaly, but it would mean that end of Nasty’s season. Either way, not a good sign for Mr. Nasty.
Pump
Studs- Can we put Brian Westbrook and Ronnie Brown as studs? If I need to ask the question, I would say no.
Duds- Tommy Jones, The Car on his bench, Crayton
Buds- Donny Brown
Synopsis: I actually like the Lance Moore pick and think Greg Jennings and Aaron Rodgers should connect well this year. My worry with this team is the running back trio of Westbrook, Brown, and Jones. Can they last the whole season? Roethlisberger is a great NFL QB, but not sure if he deserves to start on a fantasy roster. Mark fought hard to get Lawrence Tynes… but I don’t think he’s going to save this team.
Bushleaguers
Studs- Brees, Johnson brothers
Duds- Jonny Stewart, DeSean Jackson
Buds- Not of any fault of his own, but there’s not much upside… unless a multitude of kickers, TEs, and Ds are worthy of budding.
Synopsis: Just with Brees and the Johnson brothers, Kyle at least has the foundation to build a playoff team. I can see him scouring the waiver wire to find the two or three RB gems that emerge every fantasy year. If he can snag a couple of these, he’ll be just fine. Not a huge fan of White or Stewart, but they’ll at least find the end zone a bunch. With anyone else besides Kyle, I’d bury this team. Unfortunately for the rest of us, I think there may be life for the two time defending champ.
Chester
Studs- Homo and LT
Duds- Ward, Avery, Driver
Buds- Jones, Bowe
Synopsis: Craigger’s team isn’t as terrible as I first thought, but it is pretty bad. He’ll need LT to at least get back to at least 2007 and with RBs track records, I don’t think this is happening. Don’t worry, he has Derrick Ward as his number two. His WRs aren’t that bad, but are we really going to trust a Bills WR (Owens included) to do much of anything this year? I like Dwayne Bowe, but if Cassell is hurt, who’s going to be throwing the ball to him? And Wes Welker is a steal in a PPR league, but seeing how we don’t give points for receptions he then falls into the mediocre category. He may not finish last, but he’s definitely not finishing first.
King
Studs- Jackson, Fitz
Duds- LJ, TO, and I’m going to put Rivers in there too as I’m not drinking his Kool-Aid
Buds- His entire bench: Mendenhall, Crabtree, Harvin, Nicks
Synopsis: Without a backup QB, Kinger is really putting his faith in Rivers. Not sure why, but I equate Rivers with Ryan Leaf. Something about the kid doesn’t seem quite right, like his taunting of Jay Cutler a couple years ago. Maybe I’m just rooting for him to fail, but whatever the reason, I wouldn’t want him as my only option. I don’t see any of Kingers budding stars making a huge impact this year and I think one or two will need to in order for this team to be successful. I think LJ is officially done and TO is one step away from this distinction. I look for TO to blow up on the Bills by Thanksgiving. All in all, too much of the unknown for this team to get the nod of approval from the big guy.
dc
Studs- Manning, Forte
Duds- Marshawn Lynch
Buds- Knowshon Moreno and Jamal Charles
Synopsis: Uh oh, dc, I really like this team. You got a very experienced QB leading your squad, a stud in Forte anchoring your RB core, two WRs that I expect big years from (Cotchery and Edwards), and a stocked bench that includes Jamal Charles that I believe will be the KC starting RB at some point, Ray Rice (same in Baltimore), and Greg Olsen who should be starting in many fantasy leagues. Wow! I always pick Dan to finish last, so I’m in quite the quandary.
Gamers
Studs- How could a team be void of having a stud? Not sure, but Amanti has found a way. Being the optimist he is, he is probably giving his team the Together We Can inspirational speech.
Duds- Portis, Grant, Palmer
Buds- Kevin Smith, Roddy White
Synopsis: So, it’s not that I hate this team, but I thought that I would like it better than Craigger’s and now I’m questioning that thought. I put three possible studs in the duds category because I’m just not a believer. I think Carson has been unhappy for a while and losing Housh won’t help matters. I see GB as a throwing offense now and, as hard as it is for me to say, I think Ladelle Betts will get more carries by seasons end than Portis. The bright light on this team is Roddy White, but everyone else needs to get their batteries checked. Not a fan of anyone on his bench, so Amanti will have to have some waiver wire magic to prove he belongs.
Big G
Studs- Michael Turner
Duds- Hines Ward, Fast Willie
Buds- Can I put Roy Williams here? I think his time to bud has finally come.
Synopsis: Cutler in Chicago? Don’t think he’s going to be the same gunslinger as we’ve all become accustomed to. Take it from me, Jason Campbell doesn’t deserve to be on anyone’s fantasy roster… not even if it was a 20 team league. He should be dropped immediately. Greg has a good overall team which should put him in the win category more than in the loss category. He has solid players throughout his roster, just no one in particular (besides Michael Turner) that has that WOW factor. I guess middle of the pack is where he is the most comfortable. I’ll put him in the “may surprise” category.
Cuz
Studs- Chris Johnson, Brandon Marshall
Duds- Donovan, Laverneus, Ochodickwad
Buds- McFadden
Synopsis: Yup, that’s right… I’m putting McNabb in the dud category. Why are people predicting this is going to be his best year? Did they get an outstanding receiving core that I don’t know about? Did their RB get younger? I just don’t see it. I actually see Philly floundering early and then having the Vick controversy build up steam. I like his RB duo of Johnson and McFadden, but am not a fan of two of the three WRs. With that said, I love Brandon Marshall (talent wise) and think he can carry these WRs some weeks on his own. Cousin has the worst bench of any team. He needs McFadden to finally break out and for Chris Johnson to stay healthy in order for him to have a chance.
Jon
Studs- Rodgers, Gore, MJD
Duds- Steve Smith
Buds- Beanie, Anthony Gonzalez, Breaston, and Bryant
Synopsis: Jon will be the second team to be unhappy with my predictions, because I think this team may even be better than Dan’s. He has two absolute studs in MJD and Gore for RBs and Aaron Rodgers at QB. I know it’s early for such bold predictions, but I’m expecting Rodgers to be a top three QB by year’s end. I actually like his two bench WRs to have bigger years than the two he has in his starting lineup right now (Smith and Gonzalez). I think some combination of Chambers, Breaston, and Bryant will prove to be the key for this team making it far into the playoffs.
Quevin
Studs- AP
Duds- Benson, Boldin
Buds- Shonn Green, Darren Sproles
Synopsis: AP we all predict will be huge, but I still don’t think he can stay healthy. His poor body takes so many big shots that I can’t see one of these ending his season. I actually like Reggie Bush to finally be a fantasy stud this year, but not enough to rank him with AP. I think he’ll be productive, just not elite quite yet. I like Colston to have a bounce back year, but I think Boldin severed ties in Arizon and Breaston will emerge as Warner’s number two option. Having Warner on this team means that he could have huge weeks and could have lousy weeks depending on how AZ does. If AP is AP, this team will do ok.
Buzzsaw
Studs- Tommy B
Duds- My entire bench- not anyone I’d feel comfortable starting except maybe Berrian.
Buds- Slaton, Royal
Synopsis: Last time I picked Tommy B with my first pick was last year. He does have two knees, you know. Lightning can’t strike twice can it? I already hear Amanti getting mad at me for the pure mention of this, so I’ll stop. Slaton and Williams are projected as top 10 RBs, but I’m not entirely sold on this. Eddie Royal and Santonio Holmes are exactly what I look for in my WRs and am not sure how I feel about them anchoring my WR core. I actually really go for the beefy WR, if you must know. Anyways, I can’t wait how my TE experiment is going to work out. Starting two TEs has never been done before, but I think I’m on to something. If this works, I’ll be laughing all the way to the bank.
Predictions:
Teams that can etch their names into the playoffs right now:
Buzzsaw
Quevin
dc
Jon
Other two teams most likely to get in:
Big G
Bush
Right there the whole year:
Pump
Cousin
King
The rest of you are going to struggle, but I don’t think there’s a clear cut favorite for the coveted 13th place.
Playoff predictions:
First round: Big G v. Buzzsaw= Buzzsaw
Bush v. dc= dc
Second Round: dc v. Buzzsaw= dc
Quevin v. Jon= Jon
Battle of the three letter first names for the championship= DAN!!!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Midseason
So, it’s the midway point and I figured I could carve out an hour or two to write a blog. Not that I’m all about gloating, but I’m so rarely right that when I do get something correct, be sure you’re going to hear about it. My preseason predictions are ridiculed and Amanti and Craigger are always overjoyed when I pick them to finish last and next to last. With a solid 08 football season behind me, it looks as if I’ve done ok with my baseball predictions to this point. Here’s my original predictions and where we are now:
Preseason predictions:
In playoffs: Truth, Buzzsaw (once known as Wright Choice), Crusaders, Bush, Pump, and Pink Ladies
Just out of the playoffs but in the hunt all year: dc
If season were to end today:
In playoffs: Bush, Pink Ladies, Buzzsaw, dc, Truth, and Crusaders
Five out of six correct and the one I missed I put a special caveat into my original blog that Dan was going to be “in the hunt” all year. Now I didn’t say he’d be running away with his division, but I at least knew he’d have a solid chance of making the playoffs. I think it’s time to start taking these predictions a little more serious. If I have you finishing in the bottom prior to week one, just mail it in… you’re done. Just look at poor Kevin; I picked him to finish in 13th and he’s leading his division in being the biggest loser. Too bad Craigger and that stupid friggin symbol are in this league or Kevin would be the ultimate loser.
Ok, on to more fun stuff:
1) Will anyone ever get sick of checking out the transaction report only to see Truth spent $25 on someone you’d never heard of before? I’m telling you, it’s something I look forward to checking out every morning.
2) I think I own the best and worst from the add/drop category. Best addition from the waiver wire- Justin Upton or Michael Born (both in the top 20 offensively). Worst drop: Derek Lee. Every time I see him rake a ball out, I get angry. He was pathetic for so long that I chalked it up to roids.
3) Best pitching staff- dc. Four out of the top 16 pitchers so far are on Dan’s team (Dan Haren- number one in all of fantasy right now, King Felix, Joe Nathan, Matt Cain). Conversely, my team doesn’t have any pitcher in the top 25. David Aardsma and Rafael Soriano are the only two to barely crack the top 30. Sad state of affairs.
4) On further review, I’m now noticing that Dan only has one batter in the top 40 and I have four in the top 20. Which brings me to my next point…
5) Has anyone else ever wondered if there’s been any team in fantasy history to have the best 25 players on his roster? Look at Dan’s top pitchers and my top hitters (Bourn, Upton, Mauer, and Pujols). Bourn and
6) Most money still remaining in FAAB- Bush with $246. Least amount left… any guesses? Truth with $35. Second least is me at $164.
7) Why isn’t more being made that steals are WAY up this year? Crawford already has 44, Elsbury, 40, Bourn 32, Upton 31. I hate to speculate, especially when it’s my boyfriend, but Davey Wright has 20 steals and only 3 homers!!! C’mon. Less than 20 players have at least 20 homers. Does anyone else miss the long ball? Let ‘em cheat for crying out loud.
8) I probably shouldn’t do this, but if it weren’t for this blog, do you realize that Amanti would leave Brandon Morrow in his starting rotation (minors) and Aramis Ramirez on the DL (off for a week now) until the end of the season? Don’t worry, he still has Daniel Bard and Carlos Gonzalez to fill in his holes. Fun stuff.
9) Anyone know how many trades have been made this year? ZERO. We’re either all a bunch of pussies or we’re all so egomaniacal that we think our team is awesome. Craigger had a trade on the table for about 10 minutes, then got nervous, and quickly took it away. He was standing on his tippy toes for those ten minutes and finally had to sit down to relax so he pulled the plug. Just to let you know, Pujols is available for the right price. I would love to make a rule that every team has to complete one trade every season. Someone could grab Delmon Young away from Amanti’s club if that were the case.
10) I’m going to leave you with one, final last bold prediction. It looks as if Roy Halladay is going to get traded. My bold prediction is that whatever team he goes to will win the World Series. You put him on any of the team being discussed (including the Sox and Yanks) and you automatically have two of the best pitchers in baseball. I think this move is also being glossed over way too easily. Call me the next Epstein.
… until next time my friends.
Oh, here’s an article I began to write in honor of Big G, but I didn’t like it so I stopped writing and scrapped it. Figured if I was publishing the above article, I mine as well attach the one I did a few weeks ago, too. Here it is:
BIG Thoughts in honor of BIG G
I have to send a BIG congratulatory high five to BIG G for tying the knot last weekend. If you can now get past my sarcasm, your world will now and forever be filled with joy and happiness. Welcome to the happy club!
BIGGEST Player- The number one player in fantasy to this point? Pujols? Wright? No, once again in honor of BIG G, his player, Carl Crawford. I knew he had a lot of steals, but I had no idea he had 39 already. My speed demon Reyes has a total of 11. Way to go, Jose!
BIGGEST Team- The number one team in fantasy this year? Bush. The only big news here is that Kyle doesn’t have a single batter in the top 30. He truly believes in the “team” approach. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has his team over for team-building activities once a week.
BIGGEST Surprise- Besides Crawford (only his number one ranking is a surprise), this award has to go to Jason Bartlett. Ranked number 11 for all positions, he has to be the biggest surprise of 2009. I just wonder if Truth had these high expectations for this guy or if even he’s surprised.
BIGGEST Vegetarian… ever- Prince Fielder. How is it possible this dude is a vegetarian? Along with packing on the pounds, he’s also packing in the RBIs as he only trails
BIGGEST Comeback- After week five I was 20 games under .500 and 19 games back… and very much in last place (by 9 games). As I write this today, I’ve made a bit of a comeback. I’m a game over .500 and currently sit in 2nd place. Maybe Josh Hamilton and Jose Reyes were bad for my team as this little run has occurred as soon as these two clowns left my lineup.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Let's Not Get Crazy... Ok, Kevin, you can go crazy!
So, it’s the beginning of week three. I agree that if I were running away with the league already at this point I’d be writing a column on how important the first two weeks of the season are. Seeing how I’ve gotten off to my predicted slow start, this column will be used analyzing anomalies that have come up to start our season:
1) Ian Kinsler is the number one rated fantasy player in all of fantasy baseball. He wasn’t kept and Craig and Cousin both jumped on him faster than Big Papi jumps on a Ho-Ho. He was given to Cousin after a single coin toss. Is he going to end the year number one? No, but I could envision him staying in the top 20 all year.
2) Bobby Abreu is leading the majors with seven steals. Are you kidding me? Something happens to players once they hear that I pick Nasty to finish last. This bastard will probably end up swiping 100 bags by year’s end.
3) Three out of the top 25 hitters were chosen in the first round. Throw in Santana as the only pitcher selected in the first round and you have four players in the top 30 or so. Do I think this trend will continue? Absolutely. Every year players we all thought would be locks, end up pooping on themselves. Not good for anyone.
4) Two correct predictions so far- Truth is off to a fast start and looks impressive through two weeks and Quevin has now officially been eliminated from playoff contention.
5) Pitchers and closers have been impossible to figure out. Besides my boy, Santana, has anyone else had two consecutive great starts? I just had to look to see how the pitchers ranked. Here we go (as you could’ve all guessed this top four): Santana, Greinke, Millwood, and Glen Perkins. Yup, Glen Perkins… not that the others are any less remarkable, but Mr. Perkins is there for the taking boys. Pretend he’s a Ho-Ho and you’re Big Papi.
6) Anyone heard of “F” my life . com? My wife thinks it’s the funny website out there. Anyways, I keep thinking about this as I don’t have high speed internet or a power charger for my laptop, so I must abruptly end this blog. F My Life!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Take it to the bank!!!
So, I’ve gotten the hard part done. I’ve written five pages of predictions on this Microsoft Word document that I will soon transfer into the blog. I definitely didn’t do this with the intention of it being so long and boring, but figured you’d have ten minutes of free time to read my ridiculous thoughts. I’m feeling it’s very straightforward and not very funny, but hopefully I have some creative wit left for later in the year. My dial-up internet is absolutely unacceptable and therefore this will be picture-less as I don’t have the patience to wait for pictures to download. So, take it for what it’s worth- A bored dude’s assessment of each team.
With 12 teams, it’s interesting to see how there doesn’t seem to be anyone with a spectacular team. It seems like expansion has led to a bunch of mediocre to above average teams; none too great and only one or two absolutely dismal teams. Along with my own thoughts, I have a lot of help from people that Amanti has named “they.” This has come from many years of telling Amanti stuff like, “They say he’s going to be huge this year. They say his arm is giving him troubles. They say I have a chance with that hot blonde tonight.” So, I’ve reference “they” a couple of times below and wanted to give a little reference to this.
I also want to address the growing notion that these predictions are more accurate if you were to take the teams I thought would miss the playoffs and put them in the playoffs and vice versa. Just to remind everyone, I was five of six in football this past year which is pretty solid. Sure, I may have struggled in my ’08 baseball predictions, but this year will be the true test. I will put my wife up for one night if I don’t nail four of six in my playoff predictions. Either I will get nailed or you’ll get to nail my wife. Win/Win for everyone!
A not so brief assessment of your team’s draft followed by my formal predictions (done in alphabetical order by team name):
Jon’s Team (Friggin the happy face symbol- Can someone beat him until he changes this- Does anyone realize how much this annoys me to have a team named after a elementary school IM symbol?):
Jon definitely had the best keepers entering draft day (Hanley and Braun). Being absent during the draft was the great equalizer for this team as he ended up with a bunch of starting outfielders that I don’t think I’d go after on waivers (Coco, Vlady, Damon, and Dye). For what it’s worth, he has a bunch of closers and should win that category in most weeks. He has a great amount of speed and should win in that category in most weeks, too. So, having mentioned those two categories, I predict he more often goes 2-8 than 8-2. His starting pitching staff will be ridiculously good some weeks and probably pretty horrendous in other week’s as it’s filled with inconsistent guys like
Craig’s Team- Big and Tall
Everyone should know this about me now, but anything you say to me in confidence or otherwise will most likely be used in this blog. Consider me always “on the record.” Craig knows this all too well and on Friday he “chatted” me with these four words: “I love my team!” Granted, I’ve looked at his team as closely as all others and there are things I like about it, but there are definitely holes which make him very vulnerable to any other team. Let’s start with what I like as it’s more fun to dump on the bad side at the end… kind of like waiting to have my dessert. His starting pitching could be very good. Liriano is primed to have a Cy Young year (or have his arm fall off… whichever happens first), Slowly is pitching incredibly well and could be on the verge of greatness, “they” say that Kershaw, Volquez, and Chamberlain are ready to take the next step and I believe that to be true. Ok, seems like I’m ready to pick Craig to win it all. Hold on. That’s about all I like about this team. Here are his weaknesses we’re all going to exploit: Let’s start with his pitching as he only has eight pitchers. As he’s relying on these eight, I’ll be throwing in all kinds of schmucks against his eight to win the “wins” and “ks” categories, all but negating the ERA and WHIP categories that he’ll probably win. As he’ll be chasing saves all year, we’re all most likely going to beat him in this category as well. I look at his offense and see a bit of potential, but I also see many of his players’ average at .270 or worse. He’ll lose average almost every week. He also has some guys that will be eligible for AARP soon. Does he expect anything out of Posada, Ibanez, Young, and, gasp, Ortiz? I don’t. Can you really forfeit four positions and still be in contention in the end. I see young Craigger being the Royals of the American League. Better than people think, but nowhere close to having a chance.
Matt- Big Nasty
You know the scene from American Pie where Shitbreak says, “I don’t like the kid, but he has a point.” Could I change that line slightly to make it, “I like the kid, but he doesn’t have a chance” to describe Nasty’s team. I honestly wanted to like this team, but can’t get myself to that point. I looked hard and wondered if Pedroia could be a 60-60 guy to make up for Nasty’s dreadful offense. I wondered if it were possible for Hamels to strike out 400 and win 40 games to make up for his dreadful pitching rotation. I wondered if his two reserve batters, A-Rod and Hafner, injected each other in their asses for fun on the weekends. I wondered all of these things and then came to the conclusion that this team is simply dreadful. I feel badly for the big fella, but I also know that he couldn’t be happier with my assessment, so I’ll leave it at that.
Mark/Stro- Big Pappa Pump
Has Mark always been that ditzy blonde that seemingly knows nothing, but somehow pulls straight As on tests? This kid is checking Quickie Marts on the way to the draft for fantasy magazines, checking on players like Colby Rasmus in the sixth round, is being urged to take fliers on back up relievers (Kevin Gregg) by his fellow competitors, and yet drafts one of the better teams in this league. He has two of the most underrated batters in fantasy in Adrian Gonzalez and Carlos Lee. He has Carlos Beltran that had one of the most underrated fantasy years last year in the history of fantasy baseball (check it out, he was a monster). And then he has a good compliment of young, budding stars like Justin Upton, Travis Snider, and Matt Wieters (who everyone is claiming to be the next Piazza… or better). I don’t see too much speed on this team, but that’s only one category, right? As far as his pitching, along with his Yankee rotation of Sabathia, Burnett, and Pettite, he has a future star in Billingsly as well as a fading star in Zambrano. Either way, with these five anchoring his staff, he should do ok in the pitching categories in most weeks. Could Pump finally live up to the Big Papa monicker?
Kyle- Bush Leaguers
During the draft, I caught myself being envious of many of Kyle’s pick. I was ready to pencil this team in the one or two slot when it came time for these predictions. Why do I mention all of this? Because, at this point, I’m not ready to anoint this team the champion. His offense, although lacking in speed, is going to be hard to match. He has a potential MVP in Longoria, two potential batting champs in Cabrera and Manny, and some young prospects in Doumit and Pence. I really like this offense a lot. With no number one starter or any closers at all, his pitching is either going to be really good if his starters pan out or really bad if they are inconsistent. My initial inclination is to think that the likes of Nolasco, Baker, and Sonnastine won’t have years this year like they did last year. Without closers or steals, and possible inconsistency with his pitchers, only makes this team mediocre. Kyle is still good enough to improve his team as the year goes on, and because of this I think he’ll be in contention all year… just not the dominant team I was expecting to find.
Dan- dc
Without question, the most pressure on any one team heading into a season than ever before. With Cousin miraculously drafting this team last year, all Dan had to do was hold on while this team rode to the championship. Many of us credit Cousin and because of that, Dan is now out to set the record straight that it was his skillful matriculation that led his team to the promised land and had nothing to do with Cousin’s skillful choices in the draft. As far as his team this year goes, he’ll win saves and wins most weeks and along with that probably ERA and WHIP. So, the question then becomes can he string together two or three categories offensively to become a consistent contender. Without speed or average, he’s going to have to rely on hits, RBIs, and HRs. He has some pop in his line-up, but I don’t see him winning the other categories too often. Unfortunately for Dan, it looks as though he’ll have to live with everyone’s thinking that it was Cousin’s doing that got him the championship last year. I think I’d rather kill myself.
Even in my best efforts to get the Gamers off his game with a big night boozing and some extra-curriculars with
Big G- Memorial Crusaders
Big G was definitely the most distracted at the draft. Continually winking at chicks for Amanti to hook up with on match.com would get anyone off their game. Having said that, he has a pretty interesting team. A potential MVP candidate in Teixeira, two guys that could be awesome or horrendous in Bradley and Crawford, and two guys that could be on the verge of breaking out in Kendrick and Zimmerman. As hard as this team is to figure offensively, his pitching is equally intriguing with the likes of Beckett, Kazmir, Carmona, Wainwright, Bedard, and Scherza. Even though I’m not a great believer in Wainwright and Bedard, I’ve been known to be wrong before. If most of these guys reach their potential, they could be dangerous. With saves coming at a premium, K-Rod and Soria may just be enough to win this category most weeks. My crystal ball on this team is like a typical
Cousin- Pink Ladies
Why do I root against Cousin so voraciously? Is it because I need to explain things to him 10 times only for him to ask me again a week later and then without reason he inevitably does exactly what I explained to him not to do? Whatever the reason, I’d like to pick him to finish last…. but I can’t. There’s no doubt he has some talented players on his team- Kinsler, Youk, Sizemore, Webb, and Lester, but the complimentary players are less than impressive… and a little old- Helton, Hideki, Victor Martinez, Zito, Lowe. Unlike most of our teams, there’s very little youth on this team? Chris Davis should be solid, but there’s not much potential with this team. If some of his regulars stumble, which they will, he doesn’t have any breakthrough players to take their spots. We know what we’re getting with this team and I don’t think it’s going to be enough. Possibly enough to make the playoffs, but they won’t get anywhere during the playoffs. Put me in the category of continuing to root against the Cuz.
Kevin- Quevin
Put this team as the team of destiny… because I don’t think there’s any team worse than this one. There’s not a single offensive player that I would’ve drafted in any round. Seeing his offense, I figured I’d find a bunch of studs in his pitching lineup. Dice-K, Oswalt, Papelbon, and Rivera are solid, but not good enough to win enough pitching categories to make up for his anemic offense. I’m not sure what I’ll do if Kevin wins this league, because I can’t find anything to suggest that he’ll finish above .500. I would guess at least 20 games under .500. He has to be happy about this, because this is how I felt about Dan’s team last year as I predicted that they’d finish in 11th. Can we have a repeat performance on my lowest predicted seed? Man, I hope not or I may need to retire from this soothsayer business.
King- The Truth
I usually like Kinger’s draft style and this year isn’t much different. He has good balance of speed and power. I actually think he’ll win these categories quite easily in most weeks. With this balance, he should do fine in RBIs and Runs. He won’t win the batting average category too often, but often enough to come away with some clean sweeps in the offensive categories. Much like Craigger, though, he only has eight pitchers, with only one of those being a reliever. I don’t think this is the way to build a contender, but what do I know. With all but giving up on Saves, Wins, and Ks, he’ll finish with 5-5 records most weeks. With some good managing, he’ll be able to improve his team to contender level, but I still see some needed improvements before I can put this team into the playoffs.
Jeff- Team formerly known as “I’d hit from both sides for David Wright”
I’ll try to be as objective as I can. My first two picks (Pujols and Reyes) give me all five categories. Follow those two picks up with my two keepers of Hamilton and Holliday and I have a good offensive foundation. I feel like I’ve filled out the rest of my offensive positions with solid complimentary players to give me a little bit from each of the five categories. It’s definitely a more veteran offense than I’m accustomed to and hope that no one breaks down. Being 34 myself makes me realize how brittle a lot of my players could be. My pitching staff is currently the worst among all 12 teams. I knew this would be the case after the draft and I’m relying on my unhealthy amount of time checking and rechecking my team during the week to make the necessary changes in the pitching positions to get me to where I need to get to. I do want to go on record to say that I think Price, Zimmerman, and Jimenez will be my go to guys in August thru the playoffs and my Mets boys of Pelfrey and
Predictions Summarized:
Division Winner: The Truth
Division Winner: Wright Choice
In the playoffs: Memorial Crusaders
In the playoffs: Bush
In the playoffs: Pump
In the playoffs: Pink Ladies
In contention: dc (in the hunt all year… down to the last game of the season with Pink Ladies)
In contention: Big and Tall
In contention: Green Mountain Gamers
In contention: J (friggin symbol)
No chance: Nasty
13th place: Kevin
Playoff Predictions:
1st Round: Crusaders vs. Ladies= Crusaders
1st Round: Bush vs. Pump= Bush
Semi-Finals: Crusaders vs. Wright= Wright
Semi-Finals: Bush vs. Truth= Bush
Championship: Bush vs. Wright= Wright (would be lying if I thought any different)
Saturday, March 28, 2009
draft day
4:13- Stro is checking gas stations for fantasy magazines. Bush is AWOL. King is soon to be here. Amanti's eyes are looking heavy after a long night with the now infamous Coco-Gina.
4:42- Round One is complete. No big surprises. Everyone went with cautious, safe picks. Bush finally showed up at the end of this round and Mark is still trying to find is way.
4:55- Wow, a 13 minute second round! Stro finally found his way. Came with no computer, a jumbled mess on a piece of paper, and a pen that doesn't work. Needless to say, he's all set for his draft. As the draft is happening, Big G is scoping out possible matches for Amanti on match.com. He accidentally looked for men at first and instantly found a special someone for Amanti.
5:08- It's amazing... another 13 minute round. At this point, we'll be done by 6:00. Nothing else too big to report in the last 13, except the funny fact that I don't think that Greg has looked at anything fantasy related since he was given the match.com password.
5:25- Big G has now "winked" at two girls. He's now off and is focused on his draft. His latest pick was followed by, "I don't even know who I just took." He should have a solid team. For the record, this player was Joakim Soria.
5:42- It seems as if every 10 or so minutes someone inquires when we are going to order pizza. We all laugh and then it seems to be forgotten. I can't wait to see when it'll be mentioned again.
5:47- Big G just announced that Ali Sheeba just died... in case anyone cared.
5:52- Pizza just came up again. Now we're at least talking numbers of pies.
6:04-
Jeff- Wii is overrated.
Greg- No way. I do Wii yoga every night. "Fuckin' thing is awesome. I dedicated a room in my house to the Wii."
Kevin- Can you do the tree pose?
Greg- Oh yeah.
4:42- Round One is complete. No big surprises. Everyone went with cautious, safe picks. Bush finally showed up at the end of this round and Mark is still trying to find is way.
4:55- Wow, a 13 minute second round! Stro finally found his way. Came with no computer, a jumbled mess on a piece of paper, and a pen that doesn't work. Needless to say, he's all set for his draft. As the draft is happening, Big G is scoping out possible matches for Amanti on match.com. He accidentally looked for men at first and instantly found a special someone for Amanti.
5:08- It's amazing... another 13 minute round. At this point, we'll be done by 6:00. Nothing else too big to report in the last 13, except the funny fact that I don't think that Greg has looked at anything fantasy related since he was given the match.com password.
5:25- Big G has now "winked" at two girls. He's now off and is focused on his draft. His latest pick was followed by, "I don't even know who I just took." He should have a solid team. For the record, this player was Joakim Soria.
5:42- It seems as if every 10 or so minutes someone inquires when we are going to order pizza. We all laugh and then it seems to be forgotten. I can't wait to see when it'll be mentioned again.
5:47- Big G just announced that Ali Sheeba just died... in case anyone cared.
5:52- Pizza just came up again. Now we're at least talking numbers of pies.
6:04-
Jeff- Wii is overrated.
Greg- No way. I do Wii yoga every night. "Fuckin' thing is awesome. I dedicated a room in my house to the Wii."
Kevin- Can you do the tree pose?
Greg- Oh yeah.
Let the Season Begin
It's with great sadness that I officially announce my divorce from David Wright. With many long and wonderful years of playing "catcher and batter," he has inexplicably decided that three years was the most amount of time he could be with any one guy. Even with me trying to hold on, he is insisting that we part ways. I told him I'm not a quitter and will do anything in my power to savor one more memorable year with him by my side. Holding the first two picks of this years draft only brings up sad memories of me holding onto his two balls. Once I get through the agony of leaving him on the board so that he can whore around with some other guy, I think I will be ok. I may need Jose to comfort me tonight and reassure me that everything else will be ok.
In other news...
Here's what I saw on Stro's car yesterday:
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